Online!

I'm finally back online! I went to an internet cafe in town yesterday to blog and got through a marathon one, was about to post, when the stupid screen went blank and I was reliably informed that my 'session had timed out'. My session? What now? I was not told I only had a certain amount of time. I wasn't working to a deadline. I was casually perusing the good old internet and taking my time over facebook stalking, idle shopping, and looking up tennis tickets. Stupid stupid stupid.

But here I am, back in the comfort of my own home, with a fully functioning internet connection. Ok, lets go.

DARTS. I love darts. I love how they come on to ridiculous songs and high five awaiting fans. I love how they kiss their wives/girlfriends/sisters/mothers before stepping up onto the Oche. I love how they all have nicknames like boxers. I love how Ted 'The Count' Hanky throws his little rubber bats out into the crowd. I just love all the hype and drama. The other day I watched Mark Webster (who I think is cute. So sue me. My brothers say it's because compared to other darts players he's the only semi-normal looking one, but I still think he's cute.) play Gary Anderson. Mark had to win 5-1 otherwise he wouldn't make it through to the next round. A tall order right? That's what I thought, but pretty soon he was 4-1 up and had six darts for the finish. Six darts. He didn't do it. I could believe it. The poor guy looked close to tears as he closed out the match 5-3. A win, but not good enough to progress. Tough. Tis on ITV4 every night - if you're in the mood for over-weight red-faced men, bling to the max, drunken dancing and singing fans and pretty impressive maths, give it a watch.

FOOTBALL. So England were pretty dismal again. Lost to France last night 2-1. The scoreline is a poor reflection of the quality of the match as England were out-played and out-classed for at least 80% of the game. Crouch restored our blushes somewhat right at the end by scoring a pretty decent volley with practically his first touch after coming on as a sub, but all in all we were poor. So what else is new?

On a brighter note, the premier league had a great weekend. If you're an Arsenal fan, that is. Man U drew, Chelsea lost (to a brilliant Sunderland), and Arsenal won. Thank you very much.

TENNIS. The Sod beat Monfils to win his first Masters and overtake Ray-ray as number four in the world. Ray-ray moves down to fifth ahead of the Tour Finals at the O2, starting this Sunday. It makes the competition very interesting, however, as Djoko, The Sod and Ray-ray will be competing not just for a victory but for third, fourth and fifth places in the rankings. Could Ray-ray win and therefore finish the year third in the world? That'd be good. He's got The Fed, The Sod and Ferrer standing in his way; and that's just the round-robin stage. I'll be there on Sunday evening and know now I'll be seeing The Fed play Ferrer. Can't wait.

F1. VETTEL WINS FORMULA 1 2010 (by four points)!! Very exciting last race. All Alonso had to do was come third (where he started on the grid) and he would be the champion. Easy, right? Not so much it turns out. He ended up coming in 7th and Vettel's sensational drive (starting on pole and sticking to it) meant he stole the title by four measly points. If I were Alonso I'd be seriously peeved at my tactical team for getting it all wrong. Vettel becomes the youngest driver to win the title (taken from Hamilton) and the weepiest. He was crying like a babe in arms. But good for him. I like Vettel. He's all cute and smiley and I think deserved to win. Yes, he may be a little impetuous, but then so is Hamilton and I like him too. Good for you Sebastien Vettel.

CRICKET. Australia have names a 17 man team for the Ashes. 17. That's a lot. More than England, which is very unusual. But Australia have many an injury/fitness issue so having some back ups is highly necessary. And they should be worried because England are looking good in their warm-up tests. They won, then drew (mostly due to bad weather), and are currently most definitely up against Australia A, even without their four first choice bowlers who are all happily aclimatising in Brisbane ahead of the first Ashes test on the 25th November. The second-choice bowlers got Australia A all-out for 230 (mostly thanks to Tremlett - 4-54) and are currently 335-5 thanks to a Bell(118)/Collingwood(74) partnership worth 198. Another good day at the office and another warning to Australia that England are well and truly up for this Ashes series. Bring it on!

Gosh. I think that's it. Time for a shower and some Christmas shopping methinks.

I'll keep you blogged...